Mother’s Day is Sunday. A day when we are supposed to honor our Mothers. My mother will have been gone from this earth for 24 years in September. She is in a much better place. As a mother of three kids of my own, I realize now that motherhood is not near as easy as it looks and it doesn’t get much easier as they get older.
As they get older, they don’t need you anymore and therefore they don’t call you, don’t come see you and probably don’t even think about you much. I was a Daddy’s girl myself and my mother and I didn’t have a good mother-daughter relationship. In all honesty, mom was jealous of the closeness of my dad and I. I knew this. My reaction to it was to be mean to my mom. She was not the mom I wanted her to be. I remember when I was in elementary school she did try hard. She was always the room mother of my class and we had great parties. She was good at those. But this was when we lived in Las Vegas. She had friends there. Show people in Las Vegas are a different breed. My mother was friends with all of them. They used to call her the #1 fan, she even had a special table at the Desert Inn Lounge that no one but her could sit at.
When we moved back to Arkansas in 1972, mom didn’t have any friends. Looking back I don’t remember her ever having any good friends once we moved back here. Because her social skills were somewhat backward, no one took the time to get to know her. Including me. I was embarrassed by her. She didn’t have manners, she didn’t know how to dress, and she wasn’t very educated. But mom had a great heart. She did things for people, even when they were mean to her. I had an aunt who was very mean to her, and mom still took her and her daughter to doctors in Memphis, in Louisiana, multiple times for treatment. The aunt didn’t even pay for the gas many times, because they were so poor. That never phased mom. Every time my cousin had to go for more treatment, mom was right there to take them. My aunt never even said thank you to mom.
Mom developed diabetes later in life and refused to accept that she could not eat all the candy she wanted. She was like a spoiled brat sometimes, even told people I was just being mean to her by not letting her eat candy. No matter how I tried to make her understand it wasn’t because I was mean, it was because I cared, she wouldn’t quit eating candy. Her failure to watch her diet and her sugar intake is what eventually took her life. She had a multitude of strokes, eventually having one strong enough to paralyze her on one side, making her bedridden. We lost her on September 8, 1995 and she got to go the place that would love and accept her just as she was.
As a mom myself, there have many times I have thought about how mean I was to my mom. I know how it must have hurt her. Because, you see, you reap what you sow. My children have been mean to me at times. I’m sure they have been embarrassed by me. But as a mom, we only do the best we can. There are no instruction manuals that come with children. When it comes down to it we all have to live our lives in a way that brings up happiness. We are not responsible for each others happiness. However, when we are mean to someone or we hurt them with our words, knowing how it will hurt them that’s just wrong. Parents, especially moms, should be treated with love, in private and in public. Moms sacrifice so much for their children and families and to receive unkind words or worse, be ignored, is wrong. So on this Mother’s Day go see your mom, take her to church, but more important just love her, because one day it’ll be too late and you will have to live without her.
Until next time...